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Money Jokes

A doctor had been attending a rich

A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. “Oh yes, I’ve done that,” said the old gentleman. “I’ve only got …

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At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, “I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.”

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Elmore walked into his

Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, “Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?” “Whada ya win?” “A million dollars!” said the redneck. “You get a dollar a year for a million years.” “How much are they each?” “Ten cents. Two …

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Three boys were walking along the beach one day

Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table! …

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An English teacher asked her class to write an

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. ‘Alec ! yelled the teacher, ‘you’ve done nothing. Why?’ ‘Because if I had a million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do …

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Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad

Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. ‘I’ve lost five cents,’ sobbed Johnny. ‘Don’t worry,’ said his dad kindly. Here’s five more for you,’ At this Johnny howled louder than ever. ‘Now what is it ?’ asked his dad. ‘I wish I’d said I’d lost …

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