Girl: Did you like that cake, Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes, very much. Girl: That’s funny. My mom said you didn’t have any taste.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you, I’ll just have a slither.

What musical instrument goes with cheese? Picklelo.

Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today. . Cook: There is. Fred: No, there isn’t. There’s only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it.

What cheese is made backwards? Edam.

Say something soft and sweet to me. Dracula: Marshmallows, chocolate fudge cake…

Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there’s only one. Why? Fred: I don’t know. It must have been so dark I didn’t see the other one.

I went to see my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking. What did he say? He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate. Did that do any good? No – I can’t get the chocolate …

Boy: What’s black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don’t worry about what’s in the tin.

Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin? No more, mom. It’s empty.