I actually ran into Britney Spears one time, in person, but I didn’t recognize her without the word ‘mute’ written over on the side.

Yo’ Mama is so poor, she puts McDonald’s dollar meals on layaway.

A self-conscious wife asks her husband, “Honey, are my boobs too small?”“No, honey, they’re fine, but if you want to make them bigger, why don’t you rub toilet paper between them?” he suggests.For the next couple of weeks, the wife rubs toilet paper between her boobs several times a day, …

Yo’ Mama is so poor, she names her kids after cars she can’t afford.

I went to buy a pair of shoes two days ago. Mind you, I think shoe salesmen are idiots. I just want to put that out there. I went to get some shoes, and I said, ‘Could I have these in a 12.’ And he comes back and goes, ‘I …

Yo’ Mama is so poor, her car came with a kickstand.

— The pickup is paid for.— I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.— I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Yo’ Mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street, and when I asked her what she was doing, she said, “Moving.”

A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.” The man replies, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

Yo’ Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.