Why’d the chicken cross the road? To show the blonde how!

What animal should you never play cards with? A cheetah!

There were 2 whales swimming around who were very bored when they saw a fishing boat one whale says to the other, ”I’ve got an idea for a laugh, why don’t we swim under the boat, blow water from our blowholes and capsize the boat, for a laugh”. They proceed …

Two whales are swimming along one day, bored. One whale spots a ship and suggests to the other, “Hey, why don”t we swim under that boat, and spurt out water so it tips over?” “Well,” says the other whale, “I”ll give it a blow job, but I refuse to swallow …

A visiting professor at the University of West Virginia gives a seminar on the supernatural.To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”About 40 students raise their hands.“Well, that’s a good start,” says the professor. “How many have seen a ghost?”About 20 students …

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer (no eye deer with southern twang – in case you didn’t catch that) What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no ideer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, legs and …

Don’t you love the zoo? I love the monkeys, those are my favorite. They’re so cute. And my least favorite, those are the, uh — with little heads, the — the kids.

A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches. “Hmm,” said the madam. “I’m not sure. Try the first door on the right.” So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams. “It’s too big! …

Q: What kind of pillar can’t hold up a building?A: A caterpillar.

Q: If there’s H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?A: K9P.