Car and Train Jokes

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost? It had a nervous breakdown.

If you watch the way that many motorists drive you will soon reach the conclusion that the most dangerous part of a car is the nut behind the wheel.

What should a teacher take if he’s run down? The number of the car that hit him.

What sort of a car has your dad got? I can’t remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really – Ours only starts with gas.

A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. “They shouldn’t put up such misleading notices,” said the man. “It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE.”

On Fred’s 17th birthday, his Dad said he’d take him out for his first driving lesson. As they got in the car, the father said, “Just one thing, Fred. If you’re going to hit anything, make sure it’s cheap.”

What is an autobiography? The life story of an automobile.

What is an autograph? A chart which shows car sales.

Learner driver: What happens when everything’s coming your way? Instructor: You’re in the wrong lane.

Take the wheel, Harry! said the nervous lady driver. “There’s a tree coming straight for us!”