Dirty Jokes

I love the lines men use to get us into bed. “Please, I’ll only put it in for a minute.” What am I, a microwave?

You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.

Wife: “Why don’t you ever callout my name when we’re making love?” ! Husband: “Because I don’t want to wake you.”

Why are condoms like cameras? -they both capture the moment.

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, “Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?” She said, “No, I hate myself now.”

What do hookers do on their night off: type?

A man went into a store to buy some condoms. “That’s 1 dollar 15 plus tax,” said the store assistant. “I don’t need tacks,” said the man. “It’ll stay up all by itself.”