I like to buy a four-pack of toilet paper every time I shop, just so I can ask the clerk this judgment question: ‘Would you say I got the right amount of toilet paper for the amount of groceries I bought?’
Přečíst celý »Orange
Q: Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? A: It ran out of juice.
Přečíst celý »Oppressive Potato
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?A: A dic-tater.
Přečíst celý »Oops Banana
Q: What do you call two banana peels? A: A pair of slippers.
Přečíst celý »One-Legged People
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
Přečíst celý »Muffin Chat
There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin looked at the second muffin and said, “Man, it’s getting hot in here!” Then the second muffin looked at the first muffin. “Oh my God! A talking muffin!”
Přečíst celý »Marta Ravin: Work-Related Medical Condition
I have unfortunately developed a medical condition. I don’t know if any of you people have ever heard of it, it’s called ‘office ass.’ You get it from sitting on your ass and eating M&Ms all day. It’s at a pretty advanced stage right now. So, I looked in our …
Přečíst celý »Mark Schiff: Dieting
I’ve been on a diet. I’m on that Slim-Fast thing now. I had seven of them today, so I feel really good.
Přečíst celý »Mark Schiff: Always Want a Bite
There are some people that are not fun people to go out and eat with. There’s a type of person, wherever you go out, they want a bite of whatever you have. You know who you are. And they always lie, like, ‘What is that? I’ve never had that before. …
Přečíst celý »Mark Curry: Mad Models
I went to a fashion show. Models are wearing $10,000 worth of stuff, $15,000 shoes — and mad! You know why they mad? Because they hungry, that’s why.
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