Car and Train Jokes

A man was fed up of having his car broken into and having his radio stolen he decided he would remove it when he parked his car he also left a note saying there is no point in breaking in my car as there is nothing to steal. When he …

Personally, I like to stay and read the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people began rushing for the exits, I shouted: “Quick! There are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!”

A tiny racing car was developed by American scientists. The Americans then sent the car over to Japan to see what the Japanese could do to better the car. The Japanese added sport wheels and an aero kit to the car, they than sent it to the U.K. The British …

A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sitting opposite said, ‘It’s no good you talking to me, young man, I’m stone deaf !

A monster goes to a petrol station and says: Fill me up The man at the petrol station replies: You have to have a car for me to do that!. The monster replies: But I had a car for lunch!

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !

Who drives away all his customers ? A taxi driver.

Brother: How do you top a car ? Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ? Because she’d never be able to learn the language

Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down. Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. ‘Oh, Gladys,’ said her friend, ‘you’ve lost your engine! ‘Never mind …